The Seven Different Types of Rest (And Why You’re Still Exhausted Even If You’re Getting Enough Sleep)
Are you exhausted? Burnt-out? Only have the energy to scroll on your phone or stare at a wall when you get home? Hiding from your unread emails or being haunted by an endless to-do list?
You’re not alone.
In our culture, we have a “rest deficit” as Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, physician, author of Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity and TedTalk speaker, points out.
She says, “We’ve incorrectly combined the concepts of sleep and rest and in doing so, we have dumbed down rest to the point it appears ineffective. The result is a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired, burned-out individuals.”
Sound familiar?
We often think of rest as something that is earned or can only happen after everything else is completed. But what if rest is essential to not only preventing fatigue and burnout, but also improving resilience in our day to day lives?
What if rest isn't simply about getting enough sleep or taking breaks? What if rest actually means doing something restorative and active like going for a hike or having dinner with friends?
The key is understanding where your energy goes and finding what is restorative for you.
Below is a list of seven types of rest, how we may be getting fatigued and various ways to find more restorative practices of managing our energy.
1) Physical Rest
This is the one we all know. Are you getting enough sleep? Perhaps even taking a *gasp* nap if time allows? Maybe you’ve even heard yourself say, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
We so rarely allow ourselves these things that seem like luxuries but sleep is one of the foundations of our health. During sleep- particularly REM and deep sleep- your brain and body carry out important restorative processes that support memory, mood regulation, immune function, and overall health.
Physical rest isn’t just about sleep, it could also look a little more active like getting a massage, stretching out tense muscles, going for a walk, or a low impact restorative yoga class.
To increase the quality of your rest: consider charging your phone overnight in a different room to avoid the blue light or scrolling in bed. Use your phone as an alarm? Try thrifting an old analog alarm clock and pretend you’re in the 90’s. You could also consider using blackout curtains, a sleep mask, ear plugs, or sound machines to block out any potential distractions.
2) Mental Rest
When your brain is active for long periods– whether that be at work, school, or having an endless to do list taking care of the home or family– you might begin to feel mental fatigue. Decisions suddenly feel impossible.
Mental rest means finding ways to quiet your brain and giving it a chance to take a break.
If possible, find ways to give yourself breaks throughout the day. Try going outside for a few minutes and taking time to notice the shape of the clouds, getting a drink of water, or doing the New York Times mini games.
Another way to practice mental rest is to offload your brain’s responsibilities.
Instead of relying on your brain to remember everything, consider having a notepad to jot down things you want to remember, using a planner, sticky notes, or using a notes app on your phone.
Think about it as if your brain is a computer with several applications open. Every time you use one of your tools, you’re able to close out a window and increase bandwidth to focus on the things you’d actually like to dedicate your energy to.
You can experiment with more low-stakes mental activities like puzzles, practicing mindfulness, meditation, or hobbies like crochet, beading, or playing with legos and see how your nervous system feels.
3) Emotional Rest
Emotional labor was originally coined to describe the mismatch of one's internal feelings versus outward behavior while carrying out the demands of a job. However in more modern contexts this has extended to include emotional responsibilities in relationships and families as well.
This could look like suppressing your genuine feelings at work, i.e. managing frustrations with angry customers, or having to feign happiness in an effort to make customers feel welcome and cared for.
In relationships, emotional labor might show up as initiating discussions to resolve conflict, managing childcare and household responsibilities, family relationships, etc.
Ways to encourage emotional rest: find ways to be authentic with your feelings. This could be having trusted friends or family, a therapist, or journaling to be able to address your genuine emotions. Other things that could be helpful: developing boundaries, putting your phone on “do not disturb,” or finding areas of your life you can be unapologetically yourself.
If you’re in a relationship where you manage more of the mental load of the household, find ways to discuss it with your partner and to discover more equitable ways to manage what needs to be completed day to day. Figure out a way to make it you two versus the problem.
4) Social Rest
Sometimes being around people means being “on” which can be draining for anyone– extroverts, ambiverts, and especially introverts. Social rest could mean reducing activities throughout the week and spending more time alone.
It could also look like limiting exposure to certain types of people or environments you find draining. Or alternatively increasing the right kinds of social connection.
Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with people– do you feel drained, like you have to hide parts of yourself, or that you cannot be genuine in your reactions? Or do you feel expansive, that anything is possible, you are understood and that no topic is off limits?
Often your body signals what kind of connections may (or may not be) restorative for you.
5) Sensory Rest
We understand our senses as the big five: sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.
Sometimes circumstances have it so we are in environments where we find ourselves with constant exposure to things that can be overwhelming for a number of reasons. Maybe you find the overhead lighting at your work to be grating or regularly spend time in loud environments outside of your control.
If possible, try to take breaks. Experiment with silence, take a walk around the block, connect with a loved one. Try sitting at a park bench and notice the different types of dogs that walk by and if they happen to look like their owners.
For those of us on the neurodivergent spectrum, this may happen often and one of the ways we can manage is through stimming. For some, that is moving their body in a certain way like rocking or pacing, or finding a sensory object like a Needo or fidget ring to help regulate some of the overwhelm our environments could be contributing to.
6) Creative Rest
If you have a day to day that requires large amounts of creativity, brainstorming, or problem-solving you may need creative rest. One way to manage is to not only take breaks, but also engaging in restorative creative hobbies for fun. Examples could be: painting, writing, walking, fishing, knitting, reading for fun, baking, or arranging spaces in a way you find beautiful.
Some experts also say participating in activities that inspire a sense of “awe and wonder” can restore creative reserves. This could be as simple as taking the time to notice the colors of the sunset, taking in a lake or mountain view, or visiting a museum or local gallery.
If you can, reconnect with something from your childhood. Draw a cartoon, use a coloring book, fly a kite, swing on the swings, find a book series that makes you fall in love with reading again. Remember the things that once lit you up.
7) Spiritual Rest
Depending on if you have a current religious or spiritual practice, this could look like taking a step back if there are rigid ways of thinking that cause stress or pressure in your life.
Or moving toward things that feel nourishing. Examples could be participating in a cause that feels meaningful to you or taking the time to practice awe, similar to creative rest, and finding practices that are meaningful to you.
For some this could be as simple as lighting a candle while journaling, praying, or connecting with a source they find meaningful.
Some Things to Remember
Working these various types of rest into your life might be uncomfortable at first because of beliefs about when and how we deserve rest, or it simply feels unnatural. Remember anything that is new feels uncomfortable at first, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing or that you are doing it wrong.
One thing people often struggle to recognize is that for some, resting doesn’t feel safe. Especially for those who have experienced trauma. Slowing down allows time to notice feelings of grief, anxiety, or fear that can be overwhelming. If this sounds like you, creating feelings of safety is going to be critical to be able to develop restorative rest routines.
True rest requires presence. Free yourself from expectations and outcomes and know that rest is an investment that increases resiliency, your ability to manage day to day stresses, and improves overall quality of life.
The key is to notice what restores you and know that everyone is going to have a different way of restoring their energy, and that is okay.
What is one small way you can have more rest in your life this week?
Sources:
https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/seven-rest-types
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/12148-sleep-basics
https://www.drdaltonsmith.com/
https://ideas.ted.com/the-7-types-of-rest-that-every-person-needs/